That's a wrap...
I fittingly begin the last entry of this blog with a cliche for a title - I've been living in the land of cliches' so why not? 'At the end of the day'... 'Bear in mind'... 'INT: HOTEL ROOM -- MORNING'... not sure how to talk about today so maybe I will just reflect...
A fuzzy head lifts gently from a starched pillow and and listens to the sound of a hotel maid's hoover knocking against the door... it's time to wake up and get the flock out of here...
I had the foresight to pack my bags a day earlier and try to figure out how to cram the new bits of plastic in with the numerous amounts of plastic that I purchased for the kids at toy shops. The bags are twice as heavy as when I arrived and I had shed most of the load - not sure if I will get away with the excess baggage.
A day free - and Greg is coming to pick me up and show me the beachier side of L.A. before I leave... he is determined to make sure that I know it's not all desecrated pigeons and bums. He's right as it happens - L.A. is so much more than that - for all the lows there are highs... it's a city of contrasts and I'm pretty smitten by the variety as I wave goodbye to the smoggy city... for now.
After checking out the curious seals at 'Point Doom' I realise that the place is like a jigsaw puzzle - only the pieces are from all different sets. Each block is different to the last and even though they don't quite fit... they make for interesting viewing.
Back to Greg's for 2 hours of video games before I leave (I need the release) and he drops me off with a fond farewell at LAX. I kiss the visa in my passport and head to check-in with two ton bags at my side. Fortunately the guy next to me has a problem with his bag and mine get pushed through before anyone weighs them - someone up there (in air traffic control) finally likes me.
Sitting at the gate I am struck with the vision that I have come full circle in 3 weeks! I sit and observe the characters in the airport to play the game of airport boarding again. There they are! The old couple looking for the decoy kid... there's the gay couple pretending to be first class... and there are the 'deaf' pensioners that will choose not to hear the seat rows that are announced...
It all comes flooding back to me and I prepare for battle. Over half of the flight is going to be occupied with american retiree couples going to Sydney to start their 6 month round trip cruise. I know this because they like to announce it to the whole gate... they are american Damnit! and you are going to know about it. They push, shove, bleat, scowl and basically dominate the lounge area. They are rich, tanned, fit and healthy, but come the boarding announcement they will be frail, deaf and need assistance...
The announcement comes and they're off!! Rows 65-75 only but there are a hundred sundried olives vying to be first in line... its impossible that they can be all be in the requested rows... luckily - I am row 73 and I walk through waving the ticket above my head like a white flag. There is pushing, shoving and mumbling galore and its hilarious... the gay couple are screaming at the fifty people in front of them that have lower numbers, the fifty people in front of them have all lost the ability to hear... after much stepping on boat shoes and grabbing fistfuls of puttied skin we are through, victorious in our ability to be fair and just (albeit by assaulting pensioners, but lets not focus on that shall we?).
On the plane I get time to reflect on the trip and I sit back and close my eyes to review my time there. Its a funny old place yet full of surprise every day. Would I live there? Does anyone really 'live' there? It seems that L.A. is more about work than living, a town of industry that masquerades as a theme park. Would I do anything different? Not a thing... actually, wait - I'd take the family next time so that the rot of boredom would abstain from setting in...
One other thing... I would change the name of the Blog. 'Memoirs of a Short Filmmaker: To Live and Die in L.A.'?... not quite right... how about 'Tales of a Short Filmmaker'?... almost... Got It!! - "Confessions of a Short Film Maker: or 'How to sell yourself short in Hollywood'...
My advice? Look at the whole thing as an elaborate game (Not 'marbles' mind you, there are too many missing!) - L.A. is a monopoly board.... Set the dominoes up before you get there around the streets... Play a mean game of Bluff.... roll the dice and see what happens. If the dominoes fall at the right time and someone buys into another mans Bluff then you might just move a couple of spaces up the board.
And if not? Who cares... its all just a silly game.
With a contented smile on my face, and angry pensioners jostling for their seats - I wonder if the plane engines are the only things that won't stop whining until we land... nevermind - I'm drifting off... happy in the fact that there will be some sane people under 5ft waiting for me at the other end... and the last thought of advice that enters my head as I lose consciousness? Never - ever go to the cinema with a man armed with a pork pie... It's a funny old place...
A fuzzy head lifts gently from a starched pillow and and listens to the sound of a hotel maid's hoover knocking against the door... it's time to wake up and get the flock out of here...
I had the foresight to pack my bags a day earlier and try to figure out how to cram the new bits of plastic in with the numerous amounts of plastic that I purchased for the kids at toy shops. The bags are twice as heavy as when I arrived and I had shed most of the load - not sure if I will get away with the excess baggage.
A day free - and Greg is coming to pick me up and show me the beachier side of L.A. before I leave... he is determined to make sure that I know it's not all desecrated pigeons and bums. He's right as it happens - L.A. is so much more than that - for all the lows there are highs... it's a city of contrasts and I'm pretty smitten by the variety as I wave goodbye to the smoggy city... for now.
After checking out the curious seals at 'Point Doom' I realise that the place is like a jigsaw puzzle - only the pieces are from all different sets. Each block is different to the last and even though they don't quite fit... they make for interesting viewing.
Back to Greg's for 2 hours of video games before I leave (I need the release) and he drops me off with a fond farewell at LAX. I kiss the visa in my passport and head to check-in with two ton bags at my side. Fortunately the guy next to me has a problem with his bag and mine get pushed through before anyone weighs them - someone up there (in air traffic control) finally likes me.
Sitting at the gate I am struck with the vision that I have come full circle in 3 weeks! I sit and observe the characters in the airport to play the game of airport boarding again. There they are! The old couple looking for the decoy kid... there's the gay couple pretending to be first class... and there are the 'deaf' pensioners that will choose not to hear the seat rows that are announced...
It all comes flooding back to me and I prepare for battle. Over half of the flight is going to be occupied with american retiree couples going to Sydney to start their 6 month round trip cruise. I know this because they like to announce it to the whole gate... they are american Damnit! and you are going to know about it. They push, shove, bleat, scowl and basically dominate the lounge area. They are rich, tanned, fit and healthy, but come the boarding announcement they will be frail, deaf and need assistance...
The announcement comes and they're off!! Rows 65-75 only but there are a hundred sundried olives vying to be first in line... its impossible that they can be all be in the requested rows... luckily - I am row 73 and I walk through waving the ticket above my head like a white flag. There is pushing, shoving and mumbling galore and its hilarious... the gay couple are screaming at the fifty people in front of them that have lower numbers, the fifty people in front of them have all lost the ability to hear... after much stepping on boat shoes and grabbing fistfuls of puttied skin we are through, victorious in our ability to be fair and just (albeit by assaulting pensioners, but lets not focus on that shall we?).
On the plane I get time to reflect on the trip and I sit back and close my eyes to review my time there. Its a funny old place yet full of surprise every day. Would I live there? Does anyone really 'live' there? It seems that L.A. is more about work than living, a town of industry that masquerades as a theme park. Would I do anything different? Not a thing... actually, wait - I'd take the family next time so that the rot of boredom would abstain from setting in...
One other thing... I would change the name of the Blog. 'Memoirs of a Short Filmmaker: To Live and Die in L.A.'?... not quite right... how about 'Tales of a Short Filmmaker'?... almost... Got It!! - "Confessions of a Short Film Maker: or 'How to sell yourself short in Hollywood'...
My advice? Look at the whole thing as an elaborate game (Not 'marbles' mind you, there are too many missing!) - L.A. is a monopoly board.... Set the dominoes up before you get there around the streets... Play a mean game of Bluff.... roll the dice and see what happens. If the dominoes fall at the right time and someone buys into another mans Bluff then you might just move a couple of spaces up the board.
And if not? Who cares... its all just a silly game.
With a contented smile on my face, and angry pensioners jostling for their seats - I wonder if the plane engines are the only things that won't stop whining until we land... nevermind - I'm drifting off... happy in the fact that there will be some sane people under 5ft waiting for me at the other end... and the last thought of advice that enters my head as I lose consciousness? Never - ever go to the cinema with a man armed with a pork pie... It's a funny old place...
posted by brother | 3:55 PM
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